Letter to a Deceased Mother

balloonAs I was cleaning up the pasture this morning, reflecting on the Mother’s Day just passed and perhaps thinking that I didn’t get my fair share of adoration, gifts, and attention, I spotted a colorful lump of cellophane. I trudged over to the offending item, fuming about the increasing amount of trash that seems to be blowing into my fields from the road, then noticed that it was, in fact, a deflated balloon with a pink ribbon. I picked it up with the intention of disposing of it when I noticed there was a note attached. The note was taped to the ribbon and had never been opened. When I took the balloon back up to the house and opened the note it became clear that this was a letter to a recently deceased mother, attached to a balloon, and set loose to rise up into the sky like a prayer. Who sent it and from how far away? Did it make the writer feel better to have sent a note to her mother, knowing she could never again “read” it? And why did I, of all people, find it, like a message in a bottle? I don’t know the answers, but I think it is important that finding the note forced me to pause and be thankful. Judge for yourself.  Here’s what it said–the names have been redacted to ensure some measure of privacy should the woman who sent it ever read this post:

Dear Mom,

I can’t believe it’s been 3 weeks and 2 days since you left. I miss you so much and I guess I never realized how much it would hurt. There’s things I still ant to ask you and you’re not there to answer. I do know that on your birthday and you told me to sit on your lap and you told me how much you loved me. That meant the world to me that night and it’s the one thing I hold onto ever since you left. I hope you are happy. I hear (man’s name) is doing fine. Aunt (woman’s name) called me this morning. That’s the next best thing to talking to you. Tell everyone I’ll see them someday. I’m not ready yet. (Not that I have a choice.) You know I will miss you forever! I love you so much. Love, (woman’s name). Happy Mother’s Day!




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